OK, I have said this before, but if you are going to put up a crappy Website that sucks, at least do it right. Please follow these 5 rules.
1.) Go ahead and have a mostly black or dark Website with white text if you really don’t want to sell anything. Most people don’t know this, so don’t feel too bad.
2.) Put some lame ass logo that size of Texas right at the top that does nothing other than tell anyone visiting you care more about you then helping them. Make sure it is not the least bit intriguing or better yet, dollar signs or fast cars right at the top. Or better yet, a big old picture of you holding dollar bills.
3.) Make it really hard to find out how much your stuff costs. Make them hunt and hunt or better yet, fill out out a lengthy ill designed form for a quote! Use confusing navigation for extra points.
4.) Have a really busy back ground and smoosh all of your info together and use really hard to read text, like cursive or ones with serifs and don’t use any white space between elements. Use at least 6 colors too.
5.) Last but not least, start right off with a sales page and put pop ups on your page. Got to love both of those in combination. And for Pete’s sake, don’t show or demonstrate that you can solve any of the visitors problems. Go right into the hard pitch to sell your stuff!
Follow 1 or more of these 5 simple rules and your site will certainly suck. 🙂 The reason I know this is because I have done a few of these. But I read enough Sales books to never commit sin number 1. So, now you know how to make your site suck and if you want to make it not suck, then don’t do any of these.
Andrew “Easy” Anderson
PS Now of course you know I say all of this in jest and there are exceptions to some of these rules. But don’t do this stuff folks. It is that simple.